Get our newsletter!
PROFILED PARTNERS:
EXPEDITION DISCOUNTS:
“Addictions can be very, very bad but addiction itself is not bad.
It’s a case of what you’re addicted to.
You better live each day like it’s your last, ‘cos one day you’re going to be right”.
Ray Charles.
Thanks for buying some FIRST and please remember to add the Postal Units to cover shipping – how to calculate what they’ll be is on the previous page here. And finally, we look forward to feedback if you’re up for it – it’s welcomed.
Chocolate:
A cocoa bean is the dried and fully fermented fatty seed of Theobroma cacao tree from Central America and is the basis of chocolate, as well as many Mesoamerican foods such as “Mole Sauce”. Historically, cocoa was cultivated by the Rama people of Nicaragua of which only 24 elderly people still speak their language fluently.
23 of the tribes people gave the thumbs up to our level of chocolate taste for this flavour but 1 of them said they didn’t like it and would we make it in tecuitlatl (algae) flavor instead?
No moles were harmed in the creation of this product.
Wild Berry:
Blueberries are the flowering plants of the genus Vaccinium, are native to North America and played an important role in indigenous nutrition, especially as an ingredient in pemmican, a traditional dish composed of the fruit, dried moose or bison meat.
Pemmican was and is widely used as a high-energy food by Arctic and Antarctic explorers and our Wild Berry flavor is tasty and not overly sweetened.
Product is certified Bison Free but contains traces of Moose. Only tiny traces and not so much so you’ll ever think: “Hey, this tastes like a Wild Berry and Moose shake”.
Cream of Chicken soup:
Recent evidence suggests that domestication of chickens began in Vietnam over 10,000 years ago and they are the closest living relative of the Tyrannosaur. Because Tyrannosaurs are so old, we choose only the youngest, fluffiest and most innocent baby chickens to be fed into the whirring steel teeth of our baby chicken pulping machine of death …
Actually that's crap, our poulet flavoring contains not a trace of actual fowl but you wouldn’t be able pick that it isn’t the real thing, contains parsley and is mammal and dinosaur free.
Vanilla:
Vanilla beans are the long, greenish-yellow seed pods of the tropical orchid plant, vanilla planifolia and it originated in Mexico where the Aztecs used it to heighten the taste of chocolate drinks and human blood which was spilt in brutal human sacrifices on giant stone alters in the midst of sweltering jungles. (NB. Latter point about the human sacrifice is unconfirmed but is pretty likely).
Our vanilla flavour has enough vanilla in it to be tasty but is not so sweet as to be sickly sweet, it’s that sort of white/yellow/vanilla colour and is certified 100% human sacrifice free. (As of 10 Sept, Vanilla flavour is out of stock; when this note is erased, we’re good to go - like the other 3 are now).
Postal Units: See the “How to buy” page for details; 1 unit equals $1.00 postage, snow not included.

Link tip a friend




